DANCE TILL THE OCEAN SPILLS!

Create a world of your own, and dance in the rhythm of your heartbeat! Don't let others takeover your world!
Never regret anything because at one time that was exactly what you wanted, Just learn from it, and make a better choice!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

...All I see is you.

I came across a lover who adore's his sweetheart so much, and except her he see's nothing. These are his words for the girl he desires for...

remember the day,
the way we spoke,
I'd told you in my calls,
your smile so sweet to me,
But now when I hear you,
you sound that you are in me,
sometimes I feel so alone,
but when I close my eyes...
...All I see is you.

As all I do is think of you...
As I've hungered,
For your loving smile,
As I need your love so badly,
Now till the end of life,
I am waiting for you with open heart,
To embrace you with wings of love,
To hold you deep within my soul,
I do want you to know...
I will always love you,

That you are the girl of my dreams,
The one I have searched all my life,
That every day, more and more,
I'm falling deeply in love with you!
I dream only of your love,
and happiness in life,
I try not to think of you,
but when I close my eyes...
..All I see is you.

Authored By:
Jannam

LOVE HAS NO LIMIT....... .....

Moon sent me this sweet story which really touched my heart...hope you like it as well...

While Dad was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked stone & scratched lines on the side of the car.
In his anger, Dad took the child's hand & hit it many times, not realizing he was using a wrench.
At the hospital, his child said "Dad when will my fingers grow back?"
Dad was so hurt.
He went back to car and kicked it a lot of times.
Sitting back he looked at the scratches, child wrote "I LOVE YOU DAD"

Anger and Love has no limits...

PROOF OF RAMAYANA

www.FunAndFunOnly.net

Floating Stone from Ramasethu (bridge made by Lord Rama & Vanara sena)

www.FunAndFunOnly.net

Ramasethu

www.FunAndFunOnly.net

Without your love, I would die

if this doesn't touch u.....you're heartless

One night a guy & a girl were driving home from the movies. The boy sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence they shared between them that night. The girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk. She told him that her feelings had changed & that it was time to move on. A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note. At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street. He swerved right into the drivers seat, killing the boy. Miraculously, the girl survived. Remembering the note, she pulled it out & read it.
"Without your love, I would die."

Understanding Women!

The first face……
The first touch….
The first love……
The first affection…
The first hug……
Mother……………..A women.

Do I need to say about “the first” anymore??

And what is the common traits among Indira Nooyee, Mira Nair, Medha Patkar, Naina Lal Kidwai, Kiran Mazumdar Shaw ????


They all belong to that minority community which has always faced the axe of male domination. But now the path has taken a dramatic change. Women are not participating and in fact actively contributing toward the tremendous growth of Indian Economy. Whether it is the case of Indian Women Army facilitating a peace mission in Liberia or the case of Kiran Majumdar Shaw showing entrepreneurial and developmental fore sight of Biocon, all are there to give the male dogma a shiver in their spine. The only community to withstand a blow of Sati, house violence, sexual harassments and the status quo of “Burqa Clad” community. The veil has fallen and now the globe is witnessing a participative role of women in each and every field of man dominated work.

Who can guess the name behind the successful running of ICICI in India? Lalita Gupta and Kalpana Morparia…….the women of Honor have proved their worth in a million better ways than those men who always believed women as a homemaker rather a fortune maker. Women in top management positions are still a rare species. But things are changing and more and more women are heading teams and delivering results. Women at the top are still rare. Globally, they comprise only 10 per cent of senior managers in Fortune 500 companies, less than four per cent are in the uppermost ranks of CEO, president, executive vice president and COO and less than three per cent of them are top corporate earners.

Then there are two women who have had to display their leadership skills at a young age. Priya Paul became the president of Apeejay Surrendra Group at the age of 24 when her father was assassinated in 1990. Sulajja Firodia Motwani, managing director of Kinetic Motor, has ensured that in the past six years her company has collaborated with firms in Korea, Italy and Taiwan and has helped it grow from a niche moped maker to a manufacturer of a full range of two wheelers and auto components.

Another sector in today`s India that can boast of female leadership is technology. Since joining Microsoft India as its managing director in 2005, Neelam Dhawan has helped it grow 35%.

Now let us take a look at what data says about this community, which is still to come into the mainstream of the business fully and are still a latent resource.

The report, ‘XX factor: the Impact of Women on India’s Growth, Incomes and Consumption’, says, more women entering the workforce could add $35 billion to GDP over the next five years, lifting incremental demand by 10%. This trend could make Indians 5% richer than otherwise projected by 2015 and 12% richer by 2025. It is an interesting trend, and one that has largely passed under the radar. This trend has started to make a play of sorts in India. To start with, women employment has risen from 26% in 2000, to 31% of the workforce today. While this is in no way comparable to the situation in countries like Vietnam, China and Thailand, the rise is significant.

India`s booming IT and IT-enabled services industry is a favorite destination of job-seeking women, whose employment in the industry is set to rise dramatically to 45 percent in 2010 from the current 30 percent, says an industry survey.

A survey by National Association of Software and Services Companies (Nasscom), the representative organisation of the Indian software firms, says this is due to the inclusive human resource policies of Indian IT firms, which recruit, train, retain and promote women employees as a strategic business plan.

`As the IT-ITeS sector moves up the value chain, more women are joining the industry. The male-female ratio is expected to improve to 65:35 by this year-end from 76:24 in 2005’. (Nasscom president Kiran Karnik)

So why this trend is so fast about women? Why they are in limelight all of a sudden? Why the graph says a different story all together?

Management studies show that women`s style of functioning, which is essentially `interactive leadership`, involves several characteristics including encouraging participation from others, making inter-personal relations positive for the entire team or department, being able to share power and information with others, getting people passionate about their work and increasing people`s feeling of self worth.

This participatory style is not something that women `acquire`, instead increasingly it is being said that it comes to them naturally due to their inherent ability to nurture and take people along. There are also other things that come naturally to women. As Neerja Sharma, General Manager and Company Secretary, Ballarpur Industries Limited points out, "Women are a lot more organised and their commitment levels are higher. They also plan their job more efficiently and are more effective in delivery.``

Sue Evans, who was earlier with Gillette in the United Kingdom, recalls that one of her best bosses was a woman. " I remember watching her carefully, but very cleverly manipulate the men at a meeting and bring them to agree with her point of view. However, her maneuvers were not political and I really respected her for the way she did it.``

In 2003, in one of the most-reprinted Dataquest articles ever, columnist Deepa Kandaswamy had written about “talibanism in technology”: why women have remained invisible in technology through the ages. “I have found seven reasons,” she wrote, “social myths, conditioning, media, networking, deterrence, balance and marketing.” So how relevant is a statement like this today? Says Indrani Ghose, VP, IT, Oberoi Group, “After 17 years in the industry, I think that the glass ceiling for women in technology still exists to a large extent and it will be a while before people are ready to shed their stero-type images of suitable jobs for women.”

One of the strongest skills in women managers is their ability at multi-tasking. Women are used to performing different roles and struggling with different tasks at the same time, in the kitchen, at home and also at work. "She`s adept at keeping a lot of balls in the air and juggling around the tasks she has to perform, this gives her an added advantage.”

And perhaps that`s where the truth lies. Women are great managers but very few make it because of not being ambitious enough or because it`s primarily `a man`s world`. On the other hand, men find them aggressive when they are only assertive and getting the job done. Why they are so different:

· Women leaders are highly persuasive

· Women leaders feel the sting of rejection but rapidly learn
from adversity and develop an "I`ll show you" attitude

· Women leaders have an inclusive team oriented style of
problem solving and decision-making

· Women leaders are more likely to ignore rules and take
risks"

If the women are so talented and nurturing personality then why they can’t be treated at par with men?

Can there be a world where both of these lives can prosper together, can co-exist? Can they be called as “Ardh Shakti”?

Think………………!

Never, Ever Give Up

Don`t give up.....
...things were not favorable..

I decided to quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality. .. I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"
His answer surprised me... "Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"
"Yes", I replied.

"When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo."
He said. "In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I would not quit." He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. ..But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."
He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots".
"I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you."
"Don`t compare yourself to others."
He said."The bamboo had a different Purpose than the fern. Yet they both make the forest beautiful."
"Your time will come", God said to me. "You will rise high"
"How high should I rise?"
I asked. "How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return.
"As high as it can?" I questioned.
"Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."
I left the forest and brought back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you. Never, Never, Never Give up. For the Prayer is not an option but an opportunity. Don`t tell the Lord how big the problem is, tell the problem how Great the Lord is!
Heavens door open this morning, God asked me... My CHILD...what can I do for you?" and I said "Daddy please protect and bless the one reading this message.
God smiled and answered ... "request granted ............

Dos and Don`ts of face to face interviewing.

Here are a few "common sense" tips for most people that go for an interview (regardless of the level of the position):

1. The most asked question by interviewers is "Tell me about yourself and your background". Your answer to this question should be well thought out. You know it`s coming, so be prepared.

2. Be honest; don`t just say what you think the interviewers want
you to say.

3. Be direct. Don`t ramble. If you get off track, bring yourself back to the "specific question" that was asked. If you talk too much, the interview will want to get rid of you as soon as possible. However If your answers are too brief, you may leave your
interviewer unsatisfied and/or irritated. Find the balance.

4. Don`t take a trip to "negative town" when discussing your reasons for making a job change. If you start bashing your current employer, the executive management decisions, your immediate manager and the work culture, people might think you had something to do with it! Instead, simply focus on the areas that YOU can control, such as your areas of growth, career path and goals this is always safe
territory.

5. Good eye contact is essential. Look your interviewer in the eye, especially when THEY are talking – but don`t stare.

6. Show your passion/energy/drive by explaining WHY this is the career path you have chosen.

7. Prepare a list of questions that specifically apply to the person/company you`re meeting with (its okay to ask the same questions to different people – to ensure continuity).

8. When you sense the interview is winding down, let them know you`re confident you can do the job – and you want the job.

9. Collect their business card – so you can send a thank-you note.

10. Have fun and smile.! :)

10 MYTHS ON CREATIVITY!!!

Below are 10 creative myths. If you share these with everyone, these myths will go away.

1. “I am not creative”
I have heard a lot of people say precisely that: “I am not creative”. The truth, of course, is that we are all creative. That`s what differentiates us from Parrots who can say clever things put couldn`t have a creative idea if their lives depended upon it. The truth is we are all creative. And while some people are naturally more creative than others, we can all have very creative ideas. The problem is, as we grow older, most of us learn to inhibit our creativity for reasons relating to work, acceptable behaviour and just the notion of being a grown-up.

2. “That`s a stupid [or daft, or silly, or ridiculous] idea”
People say this kind of thing to colleagues, family and even to themselves. Indeed, this is one reason why people believe they are not creative: they have got into such a habit of censoring their creative ideas, by telling themselves that their ideas are stupid, that they no longer feel creative. Next time you have an idea you think is stupid, don`t censor it. Rather, ask yourself how you could improve the idea.

3. “Creative people always have great ideas”
Rubbish! Creative people always have ideas. Whether they like it or not, they are having ideas and sharing those ideas (often with people who tell them their ideas are stupid, no less!) every waking hour of the day. Of those ideas, a precious few are great. Many are good, Many are mediocre and a precious few really are stupid ideas. Over time, we tend to forget creative people`s weak ideas and remember their great ideas.

4. “Constructive criticism will help my colleague improve her idea.”
Yeah, and tripping a child when she is learning to walk will help her improve her walking skills. Nonsense! Criticism, whether constructive or destructive (as most criticism truly is) squelches creative thinking and teaches your colleague to keep her ideas to herself. Likewise, other colleagues will see what happens when ideas are shared and will also learn to keep their ideas to themselves. Fresh ideas are fragile. They need nurturing, not kicking. Instead of criticising a colleague`s new idea, challenge her to improve the idea by asking her how she could get over the idea`s weakness.

5. “We need some new marketing ideas for the upcoming product launch. Let`s get the marketing people together and brainstorm ideas.”
This is a sure recipe for coming up with the same kind of marketing ideas you have had in the past: ie. uncreative. Brainstorming, as well as ideas campaigns and other group ideation events get the most creative results with the widest variety of participants. Want marketing ideas? Then bring in sales, accounting, human resources, financial, administrative, production, design, research, legal and other people into the brainstorming event. Such a wide range of knowledge, experience and backgrounds will encourage a wide range of ideas. And that results in more creative ideas.

6. “In order for our innovation strategy to be a success, we need a system of review processes for screening ideas and determining which ideas to implement.”
In fact, the review process is very often about eroding creativity by removing risk from ideas. The most important component for corporate innovation is a method of soliciting and capturing focused business ideas. The ideas campaign approach – where you challenge employees to submit ideas on specific business issues, such as “in what ways might we improve product X?” is the best way to focus innovation. A transparent tool that allows employees to submit, read and collaborate on ideas is the best way to focus creative thinking. And, framing your challenges effectively is arguably one of the most important aspects of successful corporate innovation. (see http://www.jpb.com/ideamanagement/ for more information on the ideas campaign approach to innovation). Yes, reviewing ideas is important. But first you need to be generating the creative ideas so that they may be reviewed.

7. “That`s a good idea. Let`s run with it”
When we are looking for ideas, we have a tendency to stop looking and start implementing with the first good idea that comes to mind. Unfortunately, that means that any great ideas you might have had, had you spent more time thinking, are lost. Moreover, good ideas can often be developed into significantly better ideas with a little creative thought. So, don`t think of a good idea as an end – rather think of it as a beginning of the second stage of creative thought.

8. “Drugs will help me be more creative”
The 1960s drug culture and glamour of musicians and artists getting high and being creative led to this myth. And, possibly a little bit of drugs or alcohol will loosen your inhibitions to the extent that you do not criticise your ideas as much as you might had your inhibitions not been loosened. A lot of drugs or alcohol, however, will alter your mind and may very likely make you believe you are being more creative. But to people watching you, you will just seem like someone who is very high.

9. “If it ain`t broke, don`t fix it.”
Just the other day I was at a workshop where some people were complaining about a colleague who always had ideas. Worse, he wanted to use those ideas to change processes that were working perfectly well. Sadly, too many of us (but not you, of course) are like the complainers. If something works well as it is, whether it is a machine or a process, we often feel there is no need to change the way it works. Fortunately, Dr. Hans von Ohain and Sir Frank Whittle didn`t think like that – or we`d still be flying in propeller aeroplanes. Bear in mind that propeller aeroplanes were working perfectly fine when the two gentlemen in question individually invented the jet engine.

10. “I don`t need a notebook. I always remember my ideas”
Maybe. But I doubt it. When we are inspired by an idea, that idea is very often out of context with what we are doing. Perhaps a dream we had upon waking inspires us with the solution to a problem. But, then we wake up, get the children up, have breakfast, run through in our minds an important presentation we`ll be giving in the morning, panic that the kids will miss their bus, run for the train, flirt with an attractive young thing on the train, etc - until late afternoon when you finally have time to think about the problem. How likely are you really to remember the idea you had upon wakening?

Article: Excuses, Excuses!!!

When Bill Clinton published his best-selling memoir in 2004, he knew he would have to deal with the Monica Lewinsky scandal during his second term. He did so by explaining it as a personal failure, a yielding to private demons.
"Once people reach the age of accountability, no matter what people do to them, that is not an excuse for any mistakes they make. I was involved in two great struggles at the same time: a great public struggle over the future of America with the Republican Congress and a private struggle with my old demons. I won the public one and lost the private one," Clinton said.
"I don`t think it`s much more complicated than that. That`s not an excuse. But it is an explanation, and that`s the best I can do."
Clinton understood the distinction - and not just because his behavior was inexcusable. There is simply no excuse for making excuses.
When you`re late to an appointment and you hear yourself saying, "I`m sorry I`m late but the traffic was murder," stop at the word "sorry." Blaming traffic doesn`t excuse the fact that you kept people waiting. You should have started earlier. You certainly won`t have to apologize for: "I`m sorry I`m early, but I left too soon and the traffic was moving along just fine."
If the world worked like that, there would be no excuses.
I like to divide excuses into two categories: blunt and subtle. The blunt, "dog ate my homework" excuse sounds something like this: "I`m very sorry I missed our lunch date. My assistant had it marked down for the wrong day on my calendar."
Translation: "You see, it`s not that I forgot the lunch date. It`s not that I don`t regard you as so important that lunch with you is the unchangeable, non-negotiable highlight of my day. It`s just that my assistant is inept. Blame my assistant, not me."
The problem with this type of excuse is that we rarely get away with it - and it`s hardly an effective leadership strategy. After reviewing thousands of 360-degree feedback summaries, I have a feel for what qualities direct reports respect and don`t respect in their leaders. I have never seen feedback that said, "I think you are a great leader because I love the quality of your excuses," or, "I thought you screwed up, but you really changed my mind after you made that excuse."
The more subtle excuses appear when we attribute our failings to some genetic characteristic that`s apparently lodged in our brains. We talk about ourselves as if we have permanent genetic flaws that can never be altered.
You`ve surely heard these excuses. Maybe you`ve even used a few of them: "I`m impatient." "I always put things off until the last minute." "I`ve always had a quick temper."
Habitually, these expositional statements are followed by saying, "I`m sorry, but that`s just the way I am."
It`s amazing how often I hear otherwise brilliant, successful people make willfully self-deprecating comments about themselves. It`s a subtle art because, in effect, they`re stereotyping themselves and using that to excuse otherwise inexcusable behavior.
Our personal stereotyping frequently comes from stories or preconceived notions about ourselves that have been preserved and repeated for years, sometimes going back as far as childhood. These stories may have little or no basis in fact. But they imprint themselves in our minds and establish low expectations that become self-fulfilling prophecies.
The next time you hear yourself saying, "I`m just no good at ...," ask yourself, "Why not?"
This doesn`t just refer to our aptitudes at mathematics or mechanics. It also applies to our behavior. We excuse our tardiness because we`ve been running late all our lives, and our family, friends and colleagues let us get away with it. These aren`t genetic flaws. We weren`t born this way, and we don`t have to be this way.
If we can stop excusing ourselves, we can get better at almost anything we choose.

(Authored By: Dr. Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders achieve positive, lasting change in behavior. He is the author or co-editor of 22 books, including The Wall Street Journal No. 1 business best-seller What Got You Here Won`t Get You There.)

How to Detect Lies !!!

Introduction to Detecting Lies:
The following techniques to telling if someone is lying are often used by police, and security experts. This knowledge is also useful for managers, employers, and for anyone to use in everyday situations where telling the truth from a lie can help prevent you from being a victim of fraud/scams and other deceptions.

Warning: Sometimes Ignorance is bliss; after gaining this knowledge, you may be hurt when it is obvious that someone is lying to you.

Signs of Deception:
Body Language of Lies:
• Physical expression will be limited and stiff, with few arm and hand movements. Hand, arm and leg movement are toward their own body the liar takes up less space.
• A person who is lying to you will avoid making eye contact.
• Hands touching their face, throat & mouth. Touching or scratching the nose or behind their ear. Not likely to touch his chest/heart with an open hand.

Emotional Gestures & Contradiction

• Timing and duration of emotional gestures and emotions are off a normal pace. The display of emotion is delayed, stays longer it would naturally, then stops suddenly.
• Timing is off between emotions gestures/expressions and words. Example: Someone says "I love it!" when receiving a gift, and then smile after making that statement, rather then at the same time the statement is made.
• Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”
• Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is faking emotions (like happy, surprised, sad, awe, )instead of the whole face. For example; when someone smiles naturally their whole face is involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes and forehead push down, etc.

Interactions and Reactions

• A guilty person gets defensive. An innocent person will often go on the offensive.
• A liar is uncomfortable facing his questioner/accuser and may turn his head or body away.
• A liar might unconsciously place objects (book, coffee cup, etc.) between themselves and you.

Verbal Context and Content
• A liar will use your words to make answer a question. When asked, “Did you eat the last cookie?” The liar answers, “No, I did not eat the last cookie.”
•A statement with a contraction is more likely to be truthful: “ I didn`t do it” instead of “I did not do it”
• Liars sometimes avoid "lying" by not making direct statements. They imply answers instead of denying something directly.
• The guilty person may speak more than natural, adding unnecessary details to convince you... they are not comfortable with silence or pauses in the conversation.
• A liar may leave out pronouns and speak in a monotonous tone. When a truthful statement is made the pronoun is emphasized as much or more than the rest of the words in a statement.
• Words may be garbled and spoken softly, and syntax and grammar may be off. In other words, his sentences will likely be muddled rather than emphasized.

Other signs of a lie:
• If you believe someone is lying, then change subject of a conversation quickly, a liar follows along willingly and becomes more relaxed. The guilty wants the subject changed; an innocent person may be confused by the sudden change in topics and will want to back to the previous subject.
• Using humor or sarcasm to avoid a subject.
Final Notes:
Obviously, just because someone exhibits one or more of these signs does not make them a liar. The above behaviors should be compared to a persons base (normal) behavior whenever possible.
source: http://www.blifaloo.com/info/lies.php

Parents are Precious !!!

This was narrated by an IAF pilot at Seminar recently on Human Relations:

My parents left for our native place on Thursday and we went to the airport to see them off. In fact, my father had never traveled by air before, so I just took this opportunity to make him experience the same. In spite of being asked to book tickets by train, I got them tickets on Jet Airways. The moment I handed over the tickets to him, he was surprised to see that I had booked them by air. The excitement was very apparent on his face, waiting for the time of travel. Just like a school boy, he was preparing himself on that day and we all went to the airport, right from using the trolley for his luggage, the baggage check-in and asking for a window seat and waiting restlessly for the security check-in to happen. He was thoroughly enjoying himself and I, too, was overcome with joy watching him experience all these things.
As they were about to go in for the security check-in, he walked up to me with tears in his eyes and thanked me. He became very emotional and it was not as if I had done something great but the fact that this meant a great deal to him. When he said thanks, I told him there was no need to thank me.. But later, thinking about the entire incident, I looked back at my life. As a child, how many dreams our parents have made come true. Without understanding the financial situation, we ask for cricket bats, dresses, toys, outings, etc. Irrespective of their affordability, they have catered to all our needs. Did we ever think about the sacrifices they had to make to accommodate many of our wishes? Did we ever say thanks for all that they have done for us? Same way, today when it comes to our children, we always think that we should put them in a good school. Regardless of the amount of donation, we will ensure that we will have to give the child the best, theme parks, toys, etc.. But we tend to forget that our parents have sacrificed a lot for our sake to see us happy, so it is our responsibility to ensure that their dreams are realized and what they failed to see when they were young. It is our responsibility to ensure that they experience all those and their life is complete.
Many times, when my parents had asked me some questions, I have actually answered back without patience. When my daughter asks me something, I have been very polite in answering. Now I realize how they would have felt at those moments. Let us realize that old age is a second childhood and just as we take care of our children, the same attention and same care needs to be given to our parents and elders. Rather than my dad saying thank you to me, I would want to say sorry for making him wait so long for this small dream. I do realize how much he has sacrificed for my sake and I will do my best to give the best possible attention to all their wishes..
Just because they are old does not mean that they will have to give up everything and keep sacrificing for their grandchildren also. They have wishes, too. Pls Take care of your parents.
THEY ARE PRECIOUS.

Anti-Hillary Message Says 'Women Go Home'

COMMENTARY
Anti-Hillary Message Says 'Women Go Home'

Editor's Note: The following is a commentary. The opinions expressed are those of the author and not necessarily the views of Women's Enews.
(WOMENSENEWS)--The presidential campaign of Sen. Hillary Clinton has some disturbing messages for uppity women in the United States.
The reality that a woman is so close to the top political post in the country--perhaps even the world--has stirred up old ideas about the danger of female power and about woman's proper place in society. The backlash is sending a retro cloud across a number of fronts.
I'd been hearing from female friends--some of whom do not support Hillary--that the backlash surprised them.
Apparently, they missed the Wall Street Journal story on April 9 by Jonathan Kaufman and Carol Hymowitz, who wrote about the slurs and inflammatory language that many women encountered when the topic of the campaign came up at work, and which they thought had been banished from public discourse.
"Some women worry that regardless of how the election turns out," they wrote, "the resistance to Senator Clinton may embolden some men to resist women's efforts to share power with them in business, politics and elsewhere."
If Hillary were male, and had garnered so many votes, no one would be calling for a pullout.
Worrying Signs
Are we heading into a new era of resistance to female gains? There are worrying signs to suggest that the answer is yes.
They are not only found in the dust of Hillary's campaign trail, but also in the college admission practices, votes in Congress, Supreme Court decisions.
Elite schools are quietly instituting affirmative action policies for white men, so top-scoring women may not be getting into their colleges of choice.
U.S. News and World Report, using undergraduate admissions rate data collected from more than 1,400 four-year colleges and universities that participate in the magazine's rankings, found last year that over the previous 10 years many schools are maintaining their gender balance by admitting more men with lower scores than women.
"The fat acceptance envelope is simply more elusive for today's accomplished young women," Jennifer Delahunty, the dean of admissions at Kenyon College, wrote in a New York Times op-ed last year.
Most disturbing, Delahunty told Time magazine, "was the reaction of young women. By and large they just assumed this is just how things work. Why aren't they marching in the streets? It isn't fair and women should be saying something about it not being fair."
What's the Message?
What message are girls--and boys--being given? That men and boys will always be allowed to step ahead of women, no matter how accomplished the latter?
The U.S. Congress could not even summon enough votes in April for a bill that would allow a woman to sue for sex discrimination at the time she discovered it was happening.
Pressures, meanwhile, are intensifying for women to work longer and longer hours as family-friendly policies stall. An ongoing media narrative says that women in good jobs are deserting the workplace because of a traditional pull toward home and family.
In a time when affirmative action programs for blacks and other minorities are under attack--limited by the Supreme Court and challenged by new activist groups--special privileges for white males are on the rise. Parents are seeing their high-scoring, talented girls losing out to less able boys, and this comes not just from a few isolated anecdotes.
At the same time, the political powers-that-be are sending out a message that discrimination against women in the workplace is no big deal.
When an Alabama woman sued Goodyear because she had been paid less than men doing the same work for two decades, the Supreme Court (just after the departure of Sandra Day O'Connor) ruled that she had waited too long to sue. The court said she should have brought her case within six months after her first unequal paycheck--that is, 20 years before she discovered it.
You'd think the Congress, which pays lip service to equal pay for equal work, would come racing to remedy this injustice.
What happened? The House countered the high court ruling by passing a bill that would permit lawsuits by victims of discrimination when they discover discrimination, not when the discrimination occurred. But it couldn't make it through the Senate. George Bush threatened to veto such a bill if it passed, and John McCain said he opposed it.
Media Embraces a Narrative
Meanwhile, a media narrative persists that the best and the brightest women are simply going home. They are "opting out" and becoming more traditional, feeling the pull of kids, hearth and home, their "natural" place.
Signs hoisted by hecklers at Clinton rallies --"Stop running for president and make me a sandwich," "Iron my shirt"--show the ugly underside of that sentimental version.
What's really happening, says New York University sociologist Kathleen Gerson, is that full-time paid work has come to mean 50 hours or more. That overload is what working mothers are rejecting. Women, overall, aren't "opting out" of full-time work, but are getting pushed out by an increasingly inflexible workplace. That story is not being told.
Just ask Joan C. Williams. In a report in the American Prospect in March she found the vast majority--more than 70 percent--of the newspaper stories she and others analyzed emphasized pulls rather than pushes. Women were following the pull toward home, "with little mention of how the workplace pushes them out."
This is true even though a 2004 study by researchers Pamela Stone and Meg Lovejoy found that 86 percent of highly qualified women surveyed said work-related reasons, including workplace inflexibility, were key considerations in their decisions to quit. Only 6 percent of newspaper articles that Williams reviewed identified workplace pushes as key reasons why women left work.
Put these disparate items together and you see the clear message: Women have gone too far, and they shouldn't be running for president. They belong at home, and in fact are choosing to stay home. So why shouldn't males get the college spots, and who cares about workplace discrimination?
As president Hillary Clinton could change at least some of this. That's why it's so hard to listen to the delegate-counters say her prospects are fading.
Some women are fighting back.
On May 20, the Women's Media Center launched a "Sexism Sells, But We're Not Buying It" campaign against the pervasive sexism in the media's election coverage. The group's Web site offers a petition for you to sign, chiding media outlets for their performance. "Sexism isn't a partisan issue," it says. "We're not going to let anyone hit the snooze button on this important issue!"
To which I say, "Amen!"
By: Boston University journalism professor Caryl Rivers:- author of "Selling Anxiety: How the News Media Scare Women."
Women's eNews welcomes your comments. E-mail: editors@womensenews.org .
Related Coverage:
Spotlight on 2008 Presidential Election - http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm?aid=3410
Hillary's Pre-Tuesday Coverage Was Far From Super - http://www.womensenews.org/article.cfm/dyn/aid/3484/

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